Look Back for Tonight
by Ready To Flyxxx
Summary: What's more nerve wracking than a pokemon battle? Girls. And what's scarier than girls? Misty. As far as Ash is concerned, it's pretty sound logic. Pokeshipping oneshot.


Look Back for Tonight

If Ash were being honest he'd say that he was expecting a lot of things upon opening the front door to his home. Some of his favorite speculations involve some kind of welcome home pie and his mother praising him for his accomplishments - not because he remembered to put on a clean pair of underpants, which is not something he has to be reminded of anymore, _geez._ He could expect other things too of course. Maybe Mr. Mime would answer the door with his hands full of cleaning supplies or even Professor Oak over for tea. _Anything_ would have been more plausible than his current situation.

Because it's Misty who answers the door - Cerulean City gym leader Misty, runt of the litter Misty, _I will murder you if you get us lost one more time_ Misty, and of course one of his oldest and closest friends. And really, as happy as he is to see her face, especially with how long it has been, there is something about his brain that completely fizzles out when he sees her.

The first thought that runs through his head is, _wow...it has been long._

She's taller now, he thinks. Her face has also changed, not drastically, but it's certainly more mature. She's got these freckles that splatter across the bridge of her nose and her sea green eyes are just as striking as he remembers, although they aren't narrowed into a scowl like they usually are; they're wide and open instead. Her hair is down, which really catches Ash off guard, and it just barely brushes against the tops of her shoulders. She's wearing a ridiculously large sun hat over her head too that casts a bit of a shadow on her face, and Ash would laugh at it if he wasn't so blindsided. Its weird. His stomach is twisting. His eyes flash to her outfit; she still wears a pair of jean shorts religiously and busted up sneakers. She's also sporting a loose tank top and Ash is thankful for the fact that she is still pretty much flat as a board - that much hasn't changed. That's good, because he doesn't want his brain to short circuit any more than it already is.

But still...something about this whole situation makes his throat tighten.

The last thing Ash notices is the basket of vegetables in her hands, freshly picked by the looks of it, and Ash puts enough pieces together to realize she's probably been helping his mother in the garden.

The question is...why?

"A-Ash?" Misty splutters and maybe it's the way her face takes on a stantler caught in the headlights kind if look that makes Ash even more unsettled. "What are you doing here?"

Her voice is so familiar.

He feels his palms get sweaty and out of nervousness one of them shoots up to the back of his head. "Well, this is my house after all. I was kind of going to ask you the same thing," he says lightheartedly. Their eyes meet for far too long, and its Ash who turns away first, wondering why everything feels so strange and foreign. He kind of wishes she would just scream at him. Maybe that would be more normal.

Misty's face reddens. "I _know_ that, I just didn't know you were visiting is all." She grumpily glances down at the vegetables. "Not that you ever check up or anything but, I visit your mom when I'm in town here. Today I came to the lab to talk some things over with Tracey." She shifts her weight to the side, one of her hips jutting out. "I was helping your mom in the garden."

A grin breaks across Ash's features. "Is that why you're wearing such a stupid hat?" He's struck with a wave of satisfaction at the fact that conversation is blooming naturally between them and feels like a million bucks when he sees her glare.

"I am wearing this so I don't get sunburned you jerk. Not all of us are gifted with skin that soaks up the sun's rays like its nothing." She looks pointedly at him. "You tan. I burn."

"Well I'd take a sunburn any day over looking as stupid as you do."

As much as she tries to glare, Misty can't hide her smile. A spark erupts in her eyes and Ash's heart goes haywire. "I can't believe it. It's been years since I've seen you, and you still act like a five year old."

Ash frowns. " _Hey."_

Misty's next words fall to a stop. She suddenly looks confused. "Where's Pikachu?" she asks. Her eyes flit toward the empty space on his shoulder.

"Oh, he's off napping at Professor Oak's," Ash explains. "I dropped him off with some of my other pokemon. I plan on going back over there after I see my mom."

"Aww I miss my pikapal!"

Her words make Ash smile, and there is this curling sensation of warmth that circles within his stomach. He swallows hard. Maybe it's just hot out. "Pikachu misses you too," he admits. His words of _so do I_ fall short from his mouth, but maybe it's the way her eyes soften that makes him believe she knows it anyway.

His mother's voice sounds from behind Misty, asking who's at the door, and before Ash knows it, his mother has already pulled him into a hug and Misty and Ash are ushered back inside with promises of lemonade.

.

.

.

It's weird.

Ash finds it really hard to stop staring at Misty and maybe it's the fact that he hasn't seen her for so long that sets it off, but there's something else too. He kind of realizes that he hasn't called her as much as he should, and sure he's able to fill her in with all that has happened in Sinnoh and Unova and Kalos, but when she tells him about all of the stuff she has done, he's filled with a lot of regret. He feels like he's missed out on a great part of her life. And yeah, he didn't need to experience it all with her, but he's upset he wasn't around to at least congratulate her. Just knowing that he isn't the one who she came to when something amazing happened hurts him in ways he can't explain. Knowing he's not someone she sought comfort in when things didn't go to plan hurts even more, and he knows its his fault.

So yeah, he keeps staring at her, because maybe if he does, he'll be able to soak in everything that he's been missing. Maybe it will be like they never even separated.

Plus, well, there's something else.

Ash doesn't want to admit it but...she's pretty. This isn't something new to Ash, but looking at her now makes it so much more apparent, and when Misty brushes her hair off of her neck, exposing the pale flesh of her skin, Ash can't really think straight.

Her hand reaches for her glass of lemonade. Ash watches as her chin tilts upward, and her lips wrap around the drink's edge. He suddenly feels a coil of heat swirl in his gut, then a pinch.

"Ash?" she asks him, her eyes meeting his own. The burning increases. "Are you okay?"

 _No._

"Yeah, I'm fine," he says.

He spends the rest of lunch coming up with battle strategies in his head so he doesn't have to think of things involving Misty and maybe holding her hand. Or you know... those other scary things.

.

.

.

"How long are you visiting?" she asks him. The two of them are sitting on his bed. It's a little embarrassing: the room is filled with pokemon memorabilia and little trinkets with the league insignia painted on their fronts: things from his childhood. The bed barely fits the two of them and Ash finds himself pressed against her side, their legs touching. She's close enough that he can smell the chlorine on her, and it's such a familiar scent that he's brought back in time for a little while. He's missed this - her.

"I dunno," he answers, looking up at the ceiling. He hates this question. His mother always asks the same thing, and he knows she wants him to say something along the lines of, _for a while_ , or, _forever,_ but the truth is Ash looks out at the rolling hills outside and the untouched paths before him, and he can't help but itch to leave. He feels guilty about it but knows it's something he can't change about himself. He hopes Misty understands.

"I'm just asking because I was hoping we would have time to see each other more." Misty brushes her hair behind her ear. Ash fights the urge to untuck the strands, just so that he might be the one to redo it. His hands ache to touch her and that really scares him.

"I don't have a schedule, Mist. I can stay as long as I need."

Misty frowns. "I know you don't like staying in one place for too long so don't give me that."

Ash falls silent.

"I-" Misty sighs. "I just miss you is all."

And Ash understands that, because he misses her too, enough to hurt even. But there are things he doesn't understand about the whole thing, like how he misses every one of his companions, and yet the thought of not seeing her again for years scares him so much he thinks he might scream.

What will she look like next? Will her hair be longer? Will she still smile at him even though he's done something else to make her mad? Will she...will she have a boyfriend? Will she still miss him?

Ash suddenly feels sick. His throat has tightened and he can't really swallow right. "I miss you too Mist," his words feel like molasses, "more than you know." He looks at her reassuringly, trying to ignore any dread that sparks from his worries. "I'll just have to annoy you as much as I can for the time being - then you'll be begging for me to leave!" He gives her a lopsided grin, and hopes she never ever actually takes that to heart. He wipes his hands on his pants.

"I've dealt with you annoying me since we were kids," she deadpans. "I must have some kind of resistance to it."

"Well, so do I!" He falters. "T-to your annoyingness."

Misty smirks. "Oh please, tell me Ash, how exactly am I annoying?"

 _You're not,_ Ash wants to say, _I like everything about you. That's why you're my friend._ Instead it comes out more like, "You're a loudmouth."

Misty gasps indignantly, "I am not!" Then, conscious about her volume, whispers, "I am not!"

"And you're stubborn," Ash snickers, an ear splitting grin stretching across the span of his features, and it gets larger as her eyes narrow. "And short tempered and scr-"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence Ash Ketchum," Misty warns, cutting him off. Ash laughs, leaning in towards her with his aura screaming confidence.

"And scrawny," he finishes, reaching out to tweak her nose and it's all Misty needs to completely tackle Ash because maybe then he will shut up.

"Take it back!" she screeches and pins Ash's hands to the bed. He grins and doesn't resist.

"Make me." There is a playful air between the two of them, but something about the feeling of Misty's fingers wrapped around his wrists sends jolts of electricity up his arms. He almost finds himself looking around for Pikachu. Maybe Misty senses the way Ash tenses, or reads a little too much into his face, because a tinge of blush bleeds into her cheeks. They are in a strange position, her on top of him, and it's different from when they were kids. Now Ash's stomach tightens when he looks at her and...and her hair curtains around her face, and her tank top is hanging low enough that maybe she isn't as flat as she looks, and Ash has kind of lost any and all ability to think straight.

Ash has never felt this way before. He doesn't like that his brain has gone from _pokemon_ to _girls_ and suddenly the prospect of flipping Misty over and seeing if he can make her cheeks turn redder has taken up the majority of his instincts. He doesn't like it. It scares him more than anything. It also makes him feel guilty because...well she's his best friend.

Misty punches him on the shoulder, which half wakes him up.

"Ow!" he yelps.

"You deserved it."

.

.

.

"I think, the two of you should go out tonight," Ash's mother says. "You know, to catch up."

"Mom," Ash groans, "we've been catching up all day." Beside him, Misty scoffs.

"Oh so you don't want to spend any more time with me, is that it?" she accuses, turning her nose up and crossing her arms over her chest.

Under his mother's gaze, Ash splutters, "I didn't mean that at all!"

"Great!" Delia trills. "So the two of you will go out for dinner tonight."

There's not much arguing after that. The two of them are brushed out the door soon enough (Ash needed to pick up Pikachu after all) and Ash tries to come to terms with the fact that he won't be able to escape the surplus of feelings that keep emerging just because he's near Misty. It's going to be a long night.

The trek to Professor Oak's lab is easy enough. When they enter the doorway Tracey is there to greet them, and Ash is thankful for another familiar face. Things aren't weird when he talks to the artist. Things are stable - normal.

"So you ran into Misty hmm?" Tracey comments, his tone nothing less than teasing, and Ash can't help but redden under his gaze. His eyes flash toward Misty: she's in the corner of the room playing with Pikachu. She doesn't hear them.

"You knew she was here and didn't tell me!" Ash accuses, his tone hushed. He glares.

"And why exactly is that a problem?"

"Because...because…" Ash falters. _Because I wasn't prepared for it! Because I can't think straight when she's around. Because everything about her is so damn distracting!_

"I think it's sweet how the two of you still have feelings for each other." Tracey grins, reading his mind.

Never before has Ash wanted to erase himself off the face of the planet so much. "We do not!" he denies.

" _Oh_ come on. It's a perfectly normal and healthy thing."

"Nothing about it is normal; she's Misty! She is temperamental and loud and obnoxious and bossy and-"

"and kind and smart and an insane trainer, and you think she is one of the prettiest girls you've ever met," Tracey finishes.

Ash balks. "Your words, not mine!"

"But you were thinking it."

Ash groans. It's not fair. Why does he suddenly have go get all worked up over a girl? Why can't he go back to thinking about food or something?

"Look," Ash says, "are you coming with us to dinner or not?"

Tracey taps a finger against his chin thoughtfully. "I wish I could, buddy, but I have a lot of work I need to do here. Maybe next time?" It's the sparkle in Tracey's eye that makes Ash not believe a word he says. Ash wants to protest too, but Misty's laugh chimes from the other side of the room and his attention is instantly halted. She is sitting cross legged on the floor, giggling as Pikachu licks her face affectionately. Just the way trust blossoms so readily between the two of them, despite the many years, makes Ash's heart swell.

"I've missed you too pika-pal!" Misty cooes, and the lilting sound of her voice sparks an urge for him to stride over to her from behind and wrap his arms around her frame. Ash's heart skips a beat when he realizes what he was thinking. Then, his vision slides over to Tracey who is watching him with a smirk.

Ash groans, "Don't say it."

.

.

.

Ash doesn't know much about his father.

From what he can piece together from faded photographs and what little stories his mother will share, he used to be a trainer. Ash wonders how his dad met his mom and how they came to fall in love. If they even did so. Did his father court her? Did he take her on dates and buy her flowers and make her feel special? Is that what you're supposed to do when you like a girl? Ash doesn't really know. He has no male figure in his life he can really talk to about the whole ordeal. Tracey is out of the picture, despite his experience with Misty's sister (there would be too much teasing), Clemont is useless with girls (mainly thanks to Bonnie), Cilan would use too poetic of words and Ash thinks it would probably go over his head, and Brock is, well, _Brock._ Also there's no way in hell he's asking Gary, so with no father in Ash's life, he figures he's pretty much doomed.

That means he has no one to ask whether or not he and Misty going out to dinner classifies as a _date._

Ash doesn't think it is, but they are alone, and they are both single, and he's been having these confusing feelings about her for a while now. He just doesn't know how to deal with anything.

Pallet Town is a small place, so there aren't many places you can go out to eat at. Still, the town has been expanding somewhat since Ash left, and newer places are popping up here and there. It's not like Cerulean or Goldenrod, but there are a few stores and restaurants that are less traditional. Ash doesn't know how he feels about change, but he's not sure if he likes it all that much. Its different and scary and moves too fast to keep up with. Things just seemed so much more simple when he was ten.

"Where do you want to eat?" Misty asks him, looking over her shoulder to catch his eyes.

Ash doesn't meet them. "I dunno," he mumbles.

"Well you know your hometown better than I do."

"It's not like I've been here for years," he counters. If he sounds on edge, he doesn't mean to be, but everything is just so frustrating for him. Misty looks concerned though, so Ash bucks up and tries to remain cool. His eyes spy a diner up ahead, so he goes with that. "What about there?"

Misty follows his gaze. The diner is small, cozy, and looks friendly enough. There are large glass windows that reveal red chairs and booths within and checkered floors where waitresses and waiters in aprons walk across. Everyone looks cheerful. Misty smiles at the building. "Sure."

They get inside and are seated immediately, soon ordering burgers and fries and a milkshake each. They both are starving. While they wait on their food they talk and reminisce and despite all of the nervousness Ash has, he finds himself enjoying the night. Probably because he's with her, and even though things like her appearance have changed, she's still Misty.

She's still his best friend.

It makes him wonder if he's always had these feelings, teeming underneath the surface: if his heart has been slowly filling with affection for the redhead and only now is it threatening to spill out.

"Do you ever miss travelling?" he asks her suddenly, wondering what it would be like to wake up in the future and see her sleeping soundly from the sleeping bag beside him. His cheeks warm.

Misty leans her hand against her face. "Yeah," she answers, "sometimes." She sighs. "Of course."

"Then why don't you?"

"It's not that simple, Ash."

"Of course it is! You just throw a dart on a map and sail full course ahead. Pack a bag. Grab your pokeballs. It's easy."

Misty frowns. Her tone is suddenly defensive. "You have no idea, Ash. Maybe it's that simple for you, but I have responsibilities here! I have a gym. I...I have a life here. I can't just abandon that."

"But-"

"No, Ash! You don't get it. Look, it's been a long time since you left and I've come to terms with the fact that I am the one who needs to manage my gym. I've gotten stronger for it too. Right now, I need to keep doing this." She sees his dejected expression. "Ash, hey come on. That's not to say that in the future I won't travel again. I plan on it."

"What's wrong with right now?" Ash asks. Maybe part of him wants her to pack her bags tonight, run away with him to a new region. Throw caution to the wind. Everything is happening so fast anyway, like the changes around Pallet and his feelings for her. He's scared too, but he can face it.

Ash's heart falls to a dead stop when he feels her hand find his own. His eyes widen and he immediately avoids her eyes. Is he blushing?

"Hey," she says, locking their fingers together. Now Ash really can't help but find her eyes. "There's no need to rush things. I'm happy here - so happy." She smiles and Ash really wants to kiss her. He also wants to run away.

"You are?" he asks, swallowing hard. He squeezes her hand experimentally, and almost jumps when she squeezes back.

"Yeah, I am. And when I'm ready, in the future, I'll take to the road again. That's for sure."

It feels like some other promise is hidden within her words, and the way she pulls her hand away, blushing slightly, makes Ash think maybe she has been feeling the same way he has. Maybe he's not the only one completely and utterly terrified by his feelings. Maybe she's excited for it even, which Ash can also understand.

Ash doesn't have time to read too much into it, because their food arrives. But Misty ties her hair up into a side ponytail, like she used to do, and Ash thinks that maybe he doesn't have to try and face his feelings. He can enjoy being her friend again, at least for tonight.

And really, it means a lot to him. He's actually pretty thankful for it.

The feeling of her hand still ghosts his skin for the rest of the night though, and he doesn't quite know what to make of that. Maybe he's ready to face his feelings sooner than he thought.


End file.
